Writing out of just being bored

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 02:24:11 GMT

"No you listen to me," I hear my mom yell to my father. I wonder why my family is falling apart. I ask myself soundly as I was crying. God why can’t they just stop fighting, I think to myself while I almost squeeze my old raggedy teddy bears stuffing out of the top of its head. God the more and more they fight, the more and more I feel that giant weight on my shoulder get even heaver.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Rose, baby can I came in," my mom asked form outside my room. I want to say come on in, like I always use to. Though something has changed now, I don't even want to look at my parents, let alone talk to them. "Rose, please honey I need to talk to you, its important." I wipe my eyes and try to control my breathing while I say,

"If you really need to come in," I look at my mom as she walks in her face is a light red, her eyes like a bunch of little red streams flowing out of back river. It is easy to tell that she has been crying. She sits on the edge of my bed and starts to say,

"Dad and I are not going to stay together any longer. He is packing his bags right now and is leaving for good," My eyes start to well up again. All I can think is that it is my fault that he is leaving, and that if I maybe would have done more things with the family that this would not of happened.

"No, you’re lying," I scream with all my might, as I pounced off my bed. I ran down the dark and hollow hall and into my parent’s room. My dad already had most of his things into two large, deep, black suitcases. I look at my dad I see a tear slowly stream down his face. You could tell he was trying to hold back his feelings, and not cry. Though it was almost impossible. "Its not true, your not leaving, where are you going to go its almost midnight," I say looking down at my bare feet, trying to hold back everything I want to say and do. I start to make my hands into fist, and I tighten my entire body like I am ready to get in a fistfight with one of my friends.

"Yes Rose it is the truth, I am leaving for GOOD, I am going to a hotel, I am to sure witch one yet, but I will tell you tomorrow after you get home form school," my dads says this as I follow him through the hall and into the living room.

"NO! This isn't fare, why would you, god I am...," I get cut off.

"Your what, you can’t feel guilty, you can’t be sorry. This wasn't your fault," my dad says in a hurt voice. I look at my dad, I can’t hold it in any more. I start to cry, and I run to my dad and hug him.

"I wont let go of you, not until you say that you will stay here," I say with salty tears running into my mouth. My dads pulls me off and says,

"I'm sorry," He walks out the door, his shadow slowly moves behind him. I want to run after him, but I am frozen still, with so many thoughts and emotions going through me. It feels like my mind is going one thousand miles a second. Then my mom says,

"Rose, you have school tomorrow you should go to bed," I look at the clock I didn't realize that I had been standing there for almost twenty minuets. I slowly walk back into my bedroom trying to figure out if this is all really happening, or if it is just a dream.

I got into bed and tried to sleep. I kept on twisting, and turning. Thinking that my life wasn't always so bad. I could remember when I have the perfect family, a lot of friends. I was so happy, but then the weight on my shoulders got harder to hold by myself. I started doing worse at school, I never really could see the point of doing good at school as long as I passed. Then I started to part form most of my friends, and I can remember that was when the bulling started. I started felling really depressed and so alone. I became a loner, I only have like one friend who has stuck through with me. I can remember that one of my old friends spread this horrible rumor about me that was so far the truth but it made me want to die.

"Rose, its two-thirty I can see you are still awake. Please go to bed Ill bet you will feel better in the morning," my mom says quietly from my door. I fall asleep about and hour later. The next morning I could feel that all of my energy was gone. All I wanted to do was go back to bed. I went out to the bathroom, I notice that my mom is not in the kitchen where she is normally drinking her coffee.

"Mom," I shout waiting for a response, but there is none. She must still be asleep or something I think to myself. I finish getting ready for school. I write a very short and brief note to my mom so she doesn't think I ran away, like I tried in the past. I walk to my school bus and wait with two other kids for it to come. One of them is on the cell phone taking their mom or dad. The other is listening to his iPod. I just stand with my back turned to them, but I could tell that they were both trying to kill me with their god-awful glares. I quickly get on the bus, but there are no more open seats. I could tell that everyone was trying to figure out how they could tell me not to sit next to me. So I just sit in the very front seat, next to a kid who broke their ankle and had to sit there. He gave me an awful expression, while some of the girls behind us giggled. Like they were saying that sucks that you have to sit next to her.

When I walk into school, I go straight to my locker, and unload everything but my binder. I walk to my science class and wait in the busy, loud, and crowded hallway for the teacher to get to the class and unlock the door. I see one of my old friends pass by me in a mini skirt thinking that she is the best just because she follows the crowd and is not true to herself. I know that she wasn't like any of the snotty, jerky, don't care about anything but boys, popular girls. I knew her and I were almost like sisters. If it wasn't for me she would have had no friends, I was the one who made her into a popular kid!

"God you are such a loser Rose," I hear her shout as she is a little bit farther away. I want say at least I am not a slut, but I hold it back knowing that if I said it I would get detention.

Later at lunch I saw where I would have been eating, if I hadn't changed. Though I knew that this change was for the best and that I didn't care what any one thought of me. The lunchroom was full there were no open seats so I didn't take a meal, and I walked out. I walked down the poorly lit, rotten food smelling hallway into my next class. The teacher said that she doesn't care if I just stay in during lunch. I think that all of the teachers could tell that something bad was going on, but none of them asked me.

When I got home my mom was on the phone. I tried to hide and quickly get into dark and cluttered full room.

"Okay, so I will come in tomorrow and get everything set up," She says in a low secretive voice. "Hey Rose I am going to run to the store, Ill be home around 4:30."

"Alright," I say in a medium voice. I hear the car start and drive down the gray rock infested road. Here is my chance, I slowly walk towards the dimly light kitchen. I look around out the windows to make sure no one is watching as I think to myself I wonder why my life has fallen apart. I walk into the kitchen, and I grab a knife. I look at the door from the kitchen. I slowly pick my wrist and I lay that sliver, sharp, cold knife on my wrist. I slowly poke the tip of the knife into my warm, soft flesh. I think that my wrist is almost like butter. I just as slowly start to cut down my wrist, but then I look up when I am almost a third down my wrist, and I see my dad.

Now it is not the time or place for me to be the one who says if Rose dies our lives. So now it is time for a new writer to take over, and write what happens. Does Rose finish the job she started, while her dad watches. Our does she stop when she sees her dad and gets rushed to the hospital. The option is up to the new writer, and that's you.

backoff_13

Writing out of just being bored